Staying in touch with the school
When your child is diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, informing your child’s school may seem like a low priority. However, keeping the school informed is very important.
Let your child’s principal and teacher(s) know in writing as soon as your child is diagnosed. This will help them plan for absences and changes that may result from your child’s illness. They can also be an important part of your support network as your family addresses your child’s illness.
Keeping up with schoolwork as much as possible should be a priority. Communicate with teacher(s) to know what subjects are being covered in school. Ask teachers to send assignments and materials home with siblings or neighbors, or make arrangements for pick-up.
If you don’t have the time, sometimes a hospital teacher, social worker, a hospital or school nurse, a psychologist, or principal can be assigned to help you and your child stay on top of school issues.
To help your child keep up with school, your child may be eligible for special help through his or her school district, both at home or in regular school upon his or her return. (See section on Education Services for Children with Cancer.)
Visiting the school
It's important to visit your child's teacher, for many reasons. Your child may feel comforted by open communication between parent and teacher. Your child may also feel better about his or her connection with the school as a whole if you are speaking to the teacher on a regular basis.
Talking to the teacher about your child’s illness can help a teacher better understand the situation and what to expect. Most teachers would rather know sooner than later if you have concerns about your child’s school experience.
Ask the physician or primary nurse to prepare a letter for the school staff that includes:
- Information on the child’s health
- Effects of illness on learning and thinking, etc.
- Whether she will attend full or half days
- Whether there are any restrictions on recess or play
- A description of potential changes in physical appearance
- The child’s feelings about returning to school
- Anticipated behavior changes due to medication
- Possible effect of medication on his/her academic performance
- When medications should be administered
- Which medications should NOT be administered
- Special food issues
- A list of signs and symptoms that require parental notification
If needed, request a meeting with faculty, administrators, the school nurse, school counselor and psychologist, and special education personnel to discuss specific needs and answer any questions about your child. Consider having a member of the healthcare team make a presentation to your child’s classroom to help the other children understand what your child is going through. Also consider a meeting with teachers and school personnel to help de-mystify the illness, and answer questions they may be asked by their students.
(See the Cancervive Back to School Teacher’s Guide: Nessim and Katz, 1999.)
Preparing to go back to school
Most children will want to go back to school as soon as possible after being diagnosed or treated for cancer. Probably the best thing you can do to prepare for your child’s return to school is to prepare yourself. That includes not acting too nervous about your child’s return to school.
Talk to your child about returning to school. Reassure your child that things will be OK. It may feel different coming back, but soon the illness will be a thing of the past.
A visit to the school might be a good idea to help your child get reacquainted. Call the teacher or the school to arrange a visit before your child returns.
Encourage your child to reconnect with his or her friends. Speak with your child's friend’s parents to help make sure that they know their own children understand the importance of welcoming your child back to the normalcy of school. These steps can reduce fears of isolation when back at school. Listen to your child’s worries and don’t minimize, dismiss, or try to talk him or her out of them.
When your child is back at school
Treatments may make it difficult for a child to study and learn. After a long hospital stay, your child may be both excited and nervous about going back to school.
Even after going back to school, a child’s education may be disrupted by repeated hospitalizations, side effects, or not feeling well enough to participate in daily school life.
Once in school, check in with your child and with his teachers regularly. Ask your child how he or she is doing with both schoolwork and friends. Also, check in with teachers and faculty to see how they think your child is doing.
Assure your child that it may take time to get used to school again, but after a time, things will return to normal.
Some hospitals will provide counseling for students and their families to support the return to school. They may be able to offer programs to teach classmates about cancer and encourage social support for the returning student. Ask your caregiver.
Ernest Katz, PhD, Children's Hospital of Los Angeles